For years, I thought waiting was wise.
I thought saving money, avoiding risk, and staying lean were how you showed up responsibly as a founder. That you had to have gobs of money before you could invest in growth. That bootstrapping meant you were a good steward.
And it can be. But the truth is, it wasn’t for me.
I wasn’t being wise. I was scared.
Scared of failure. Scared of losing it all. Scared of not performing with a standing ovation. Scared that whatever I did to “try” wouldn’t work, and I’d have nothing to show for it but an empty bank account and a bruised ego.
Here’s the cold, hard truth.
“Fear—disguised as wisdom—is a pattern that keeps founders stuck.”
That’s the core message I want to share today.
Because fear doesn’t always show up as panic. It shows up as logic. As discipline. As strategy. As “being responsible.” But it’s not always.
It’s hesitation. Scarcity. Control.
I’ve lived that truth. I used to wake up every day feeling behind, stretched thin, and overwhelmed. I was pouring out into my business, my family, my friends, my team—while running on empty myself.
I was creating from scarcity, limits, and depletion.
And when you try to create from that space, you’re not building from what you have—you’re building from don’t.
But no one wants what you don’t have. No one’s excited to follow a leader who’s running on fumes.
That was me. Until I drew a new line in the sand.
The Line I Drew
I was stuck in a pattern. Wake, work, drink, sleep.
Everything felt like it was slipping—my health, my energy, my performance, my marriage, my parenting. I didn’t recognize myself.
I didn’t want this life. But I didn’t know how to fix it.
But I started small. I chose to start intermettent fasting.
Why? I heard it helped you lose weight. At 190, I was getting heavy.
Not for religious reasons. Just because I was tired of being tired. Tired of being bloated, heavy, and frustrated.
I said: I’m not going to eat until 9am.
It felt impossible.
I thought I might die. Literally. I was so used to waking up and eating to calm my anxiety that waiting a few hours felt dangerous. But I did it. And something clicked.
That one act of self-leadership created a ripple.
Because if I didn’t eat in the morning, I didn’t want to feel hungover. So I drank less the night before. And if I was drinking less, I was more present the next morning. That led to better sleep. More clarity. More confidence.
That one domino? It fell into everything else.
And that’s when I realized: standards create momentum.
But only after you break the pattern.
It’s not about food. It’s about pattern-breaking.
What Came Next: A New Standard
Today, I fast frequently—and I do it till 1p.
What came out of this process is that I set a new rule for myself:
“I will not negotiate with honesty.”
Not in my body. Not in my bank account. Not in my business.
I don’t justify. I don’t excuse. I don’t convince.
And from that rule, I created new standards:
- I will no longer grind for my worth—by from my worth
- I will no longer build systems I to trap be—but that free me
- I will no longer lead from depletion—but overflow
I set a standard.
And that’s when things changed. That’s when my family finally made a move we’d been wanting to make. That’s when I lost 40 lbs. That’s when my business doubled. That’s when I began becoming the kind of founder—in my business and my legacy—that was someone worth following.
That’s also why I will have four coaches supporting me, my team, and my family this year. Not because I had the money lying around. But because I became the kind of person who knew growing a family and a business means that investing is a standard, not a luxury.
I used to think that phrase—”you have to spend money to make money”—meant buying ads to get sales.
Now I know: it means becoming someone who can multiply money, momentum, and meaning.
And that starts with you.
“You don’t invest when it’s easy. You invest when it’s hard.”
The 4 Lenses That Help You Break the Pattern
Before I could raise my standards, I had to break the pattern. And the tool that helped me do that was this simple framework I now use with others:
🧠 4 Lenses for Leading Through the Lies
- Compassion: You’re not alone.
“Of course I’m stuck—this pattern kept me safe for a long time.”
This makes your situation safe, not shameful. - Curiosity: What’s under the lie?
“What am I afraid would happen if I told the truth?”
Often the lie is protecting something fragile—fear, shame, identity. - Clarity: Let’s name what’s real.
“I say I want X, but my choices tell a different story. What story do my actions tell?”
This is the mirror. The clean line in the sand. No drama. No shame. Just truth. - Challenge: Am I willing to face it?
“I’m scared. But I can’t lead and hide at the same time.”
This is the moment you stop tolerating, stop spinning, and step forward.
This is how I led myself through my own lies. And it’s how I now lead others. Now, you can lead yourself.
Why This Matters for Founders
If you’re grinding harder than ever, but feel like your growth has slowed… If you’re doing all the things, but it’s not translating to momentum… If you feel pressure to perform, but confusion about how to break through…
That’s the sign.
You’re not broken. But your actions might be.
You’ve outgrown the strategies that got you here. But you’re still making decisions based on the version of you who:
- Had to do it all alone
- Couldn’t afford help
- Thought grinding was noble
That’s no longer who you are. And it can’t be how you lead.
“Raise your standards. Break the pattern. Lead from overflow.”
You don’t need another tactic. You need a new identity.
It starts with honesty. With drawing a new line in the sand. With becoming someone who leads from alignment, not anxiety.
That’s what we help founders do inside our Aligned Program. Connect who they are with how they grow. If you’re tired of grinding through uncertainty and ready to lead from clarity—we can help.
Let’s talk.
